I need some help with my keg system. I am a novice brewer and I have always had a problem with carbonation. Fizz Drops were a total bust, priming sugar seemed to take forever on anything darker than a blonde, and my results were just never consistent. Some some of my beer buddies and I went in on a Drafter Brewer Tap & Keg system. I figured the tap would be great for parties but I could still bottle for easy transport. So I set my system up according to instructions. I sanitized everything and filled my keg with a wonderful coffee stout. I dont have the capacity to crash the beer beforehand so my beer is around 67F degrees. I set the keg pressure to 30 psi. I proceeded to do all the force carbonation things I had read online; I turned the keg on its side, I rocked it gently back and forth. I rocked it 300 times as I had read. I left it for three hours to settle. I bottled the beer with a Last Straw bottle filler. I filled 10-12 bottles and then stopped to cap them before moving on. I put one bottle in the fridge overnight, opened it the next day and nothing - no hiss, no fizz, no bubbles. Flat beer. Tasty beer but flat. I didnt want to waste the stout so I opened all the bottles and poured them back into the keg. I pressurized the keg to 30 psi again, I laid the keg down again this time making sure the gas intake wasnt submerged. I heard all the things I read that I should. I heard the hissing, I heard the gurgling. I rocked about 250 times before the gurgling stopped. I left it overnight to calm down. Next day, I bottled again with serving pressure around 12-15 psi and again did 10-12 before stopping to cap. I took one bottle and chilled it overnight. Today I went to crack it, barely got a hiss, and poured a very very tasty but ultimately flat beer. I am so bitterly disappointed to say the very least. I thought this kegging system would let me go from fermentation vessel to bottle with consistency but clearly I am missing something. Are darker beers just harder to carb? Should I have rocked it more, perhaps on a second day? is 250-300 the magic window or should I have rocked longer? What am I doing wrong? Can anyone point a brew noob in the right direction?